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Praying with Children

7/23/2025

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My mother, who helped with Faith Formation at her church many years ago, loves to tell the story of the day she talked about prayer with her class of first graders. She explained that we can talk to God anytime and anywhere, not just in church. One little boy raised his hand with a look of serious concern. “No, that’s not true,” he said firmly. “I definitely can’t pray while I’m riding my bike.”
“Of course you can,” my mom replied gently.
“Nope. Not possible,” he insisted.
“Why not?” she asked.
“Because,” he said matter-of-factly, “if I let go of the handlebars to put my hands together, I’ll fall off and hurt myself!”

Sometimes we carry very specific ideas about what prayer is supposed to look like. But beyond folded hands, formal words, or traditional postures, there are countless ways to connect with God. That’s something it’s taken me well into adulthood to understand, and something I hope our children can discover early: that prayer is a way of being with God, not just words we recite.
What Is Prayer?
The Book of Common Prayer (p. 856) tells us that prayer is "responding to God, by thought and by deeds, with or without words." This means that children can pray not only by speaking or listening, but also through art, music, movement, silence, and acts of love. Episcopal teaching identifies several principal kinds of prayer:
  • Adoration: Simply enjoying being in God's presence.
  • Praise: Expressing awe for who God is.
  • Thanksgiving: Giving thanks for the blessings in our lives.
  • Penitence: Saying sorry and turning back to God.
  • Oblation: Offering ourselves and our work to God.
  • Intercession: Praying for others.
  • Petition: Asking God for help in our own lives.

These can all be present in a child’s experience, even if not in formal language. A child’s sigh of wonder at the stars or a quick, earnest “Please help!” is prayer in its truest form.

In our Faith Formation classes on Sunday, we might light a candle together in quiet reflection, draw pictures in response to a Bible story, walk a labyrinth, or sit peacefully in a prayer corner. Children sometimes journal their thoughts, arrange flowers for our prayer table, or simply rest in silence with God.
At home, families can nurture this kind of prayer through nature walks, creating a small sacred space, listening to calming music, using prayer beads, keeping a gratitude journal, or taking a few moments of stillness together. Recently, I’ve discovered that even baking can be a form of prayer (a delicious addition to my spiritual practice!). These gentle, open-ended practices invite children and grown-ups to experience God’s love in everyday life. 
The Role of Formal Prayer
Around the age of seven, many children are ready to begin memorizing prayers like the Lord’s Prayer. These formal, memorized prayers become touchstones of comfort and connection, grounding children in the rhythms of our shared worship and giving them words to lean on when their own may be hard to find (Stewart, 2024). Praying Compline with your children, even just a few lines at bedtime, can become a cherished ritual, offering a peaceful close to the day and gently rooting them in the beauty and tradition of the Church’s prayer life (Lifelong Formation, Praying compline with your children 2023) .
Encouraging Prayer at Home
Parents and guardians are a child’s first and most enduring spiritual guides. Prayer at home can be simple and joyful:
  • Mealtime prayers: Use the traditional blessing or invite each family member to name something they are thankful for.
  • Bedtime reflections: Ask, Where did you see God today? or Is there anything you’d like to ask God before bed?
  • Quiet moments: Create times of silence or play soft music to help your child listen for God.
  • Creative prayer: Drawing, singing, or even gardening can be acts of prayer when done with intention.
 Resources for Family Prayer
  • Common Prayer for Children and Families by Jenifer Gamber and Timothy J. S. Seamans
  • Prayers for Every Season: More Common Prayer for Children and Families by Timothy J. S. Seamans
  • God Gave Us Prayer, Lisa Tawn Bergren
  • Bake & Pray: Liturgies and Recipes for Baking Bread as a Spiritual Practice by Kendall Vanderslice
  • Illustrated children's prayer books available in the Calvary Book Store.
As Gianna Gobbi writes in Listening to God with Children,

“Prayer is, first of all, listening to God… it is a key which belongs to God, but which God gives to all. Our role is to gently guide, not instruct, and to model lives that are open to prayer."


How beautiful it is that prayer can take so many forms—spoken or silent, sung or drawn, whispered in nature or felt in motion, even during something as simple as riding a bike.


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Works Cited
Gobbi, G., & Rojcewicz, R. (2000). Listening to God with children: The Montessori method applied to the catechesis of children. Treehaus Communications.

Formation, L. (2023, August 2). Praying compline with your children. The Episcopal Church. https://www.episcopalchurch.org/lifelongformation/praying-compline-with-your-children/

Stewart, M. (2024, March 9). A pitch for memorization. The Living Church. https://livingchurch.org/covenant/a-pitch-for-memorization/

The online Book of Common Prayer. (n.d.). The Online Book of Common Prayer. https://www.bcponline.org/

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When Hard Things Happen

7/13/2025

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It is with deep sadness and compassion that we extend our thoughts and prayers to those affected by the devastating flooding in Texas. Our thoughts are with every individual and community affected by this tragedy.

In spite of the lengths parents and teachers go to safeguard our children from tragedy, their lives are regularly and inextricably touched by trauma.  Although it may seem difficult to broach such scary topics, children often know when something bad or frightening has happened and may experience a range of unsettling feelings as a result. Some thoughts on how to talk to children when hard things happen here: https://jfsdallas.org/how-to-talk-to-kids/
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The Gift of Silence

7/1/2025

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Back in my days of parenting little ones, silence in a house full of kids was suspicious. Noted discoveries included the three year old quietly adding artistic embellishments to the new sofa with a purple Sharpie and the toddler using the craft scissors for DIY a haircut. But even when quiet time wasn’t related to mischief, any bit of silence (rare as it was) made me feel uneasy. Are they bored? Shouldn’t they be clamoring away and something productive?  But now, in my days of teaching little ones, I’ve learned that silence can a good thing and something children actually need and crave.
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Image Source: (The silence game in nature - empowering children with mindfulness 2025)

​In her groundbreaking work with children, Dr. Maria Montessori once posed a simple challenge: 

"
One day I had the idea of using silence to test the children's keenness of hearing, so I thought of calling them by name, in a low whisper.... This exercise in patient waiting demanded a patience that I thought impossible.” Dr. Maria Montessori
To her amazement, more than 40 children sat completely still, waiting eagerly to hear their names. She offered them sweets as a reward afterward, but they refused.  The game brought joy, achievement, and a beautiful sense of community. Montessori later wrote that the Silence Game brings “a discipline composed of calmness and inner beatitude.” Montessori Services, 1976
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Modern research supports what Montessori observed long ago. A 2021 study found that children who regularly experience silent reflection demonstrate stronger emotional control and a greater capacity for self-awareness (Kerr, 2021). In adults, even short moments of silence have been linked to reduced heart rate and blood pressure, offering real physical and mental benefits (Pellegrini, Rotondo, & Mercurio, 2023). Other studies have shown that moments of silence can improve focus and attention, reduce stress and anxiety, support emotional regulation, foster empathy and connection, and strengthen memory and brain development (Bufalino, 2024, Kirste et al., 2015).
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Practicing Silence 
In our Faith Formation classes at Calvary, we have a favorite activity called "Making a Silence." We invite children to be still and quiet using a chime to focus attention. This is never a forced silence. It’s a gift, an invitation. These moments are sacred pauses in our busy weeks, spaces where children (and adults) can encounter stillness and peace.
In addition to these ideas for quiet time at home,  Calvary has some uniquely beautiful spaces for quiet reflection and prayer. Here are a few ideas to try:
  • Light a Candle in All Saints’ Chapel
    This small, sacred space offers a peaceful place to pray and light a candle in memory or hope.
  • Visit the Lady Chapel
    The Lady Chapel is a wonderful spot to sit together quietly, look at the altar, and rest in the silence.
  • Take a Silent Walk to Look at the Stained Glass Windows
    Walk slowly through the sanctuary, pausing to admire the vivid stained glass.
  • Sit in the Swan Garden
    The Swan Garden offers a shady bench, soft sounds of birds and breeze, and sometimes even blooming flowers or vegetables planted by the children. It’s a great place to simply be.
Helping our children become comfortable with silence is more than a calming exercise. It encourages them to listen to God’s whisper in their hearts (just be sure to hide the Sharpies).

​“I think silence is one of the greatest gifts we have.”

~Fred Rogers
Sources
  • Bufalino, G. (2024, September 23). Beyond words: The transformative IMPACT OF SILENCE. Development and Learning in Organizations: An International Journal. https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/dlo-07-2024-0184/full/html 
  • “The Importance and the Nature of the Silence Game.” AMI Communications, 1976. Montessori Services
  • Kerr, M. (2021). The Effects of Silence on Children's Emotion Regulation. Frontiers in Psychology.
  • Kirste, I., Nicola, Z., Kronenberg, G., Walker, T. L., Liu, R. C., & Kempermann, G. (2015, March). Is silence golden? effects of auditory stimuli and their absence on adult hippocampal neurogenesis. Brain structure & function. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4087081/
  • Kraus, N. et al. (2019). The Power of Sound and Silence in Brain Development. Nature Neuroscience.
  • Montessori, M. (1972). The secret of childhood. Ballantine Books. 
  • A television visit. Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. (2018, October 16). https://www.misterrogers.org/articles/a-television-visit/
  • Pellegrini, M., Rotondo, C., & Mercurio, G. (2023). Silence and its effects on the autonomic nervous system: A systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 1130402. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1130402
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