The Gift of Silence

Back in my days of parenting little ones, silence in a house full of kids was suspicious. Noted discoveries included the three year old quietly adding artistic embellishments to the new sofa with a purple Sharpie and the toddler using the craft scissors for DIY a haircut. But even when quiet time wasn’t related to mischief, any bit of silence (rare as it was) made me feel uneasy. Are they bored? Shouldn’t they be clamoring away and something productive?  But now, in my days of teaching little ones, I’ve learned that silence can a good thing and something children actually need and crave.

Image Source: (The silence game in nature - empowering children with mindfulness 2025)

​In her groundbreaking work with children, Dr. Maria Montessori once posed a simple challenge: 

"One day I had the idea of using silence to test the children's keenness of hearing, so I thought of calling them by name, in a low whisper.... This exercise in patient waiting demanded a patience that I thought impossible.” Dr. Maria Montessori

To her amazement, more than 40 children sat completely still, waiting eagerly to hear their names. She offered them sweets as a reward afterward, but they refused.  The game brought joy, achievement, and a beautiful sense of community. Montessori later wrote that the Silence Game brings “a discipline composed of calmness and inner beatitude.” Montessori Services, 1976

Modern research supports what Montessori observed long ago. A 2021 study found that children who regularly experience silent reflection demonstrate stronger emotional control and a greater capacity for self-awareness (Kerr, 2021). In adults, even short moments of silence have been linked to reduced heart rate and blood pressure, offering real physical and mental benefits (Pellegrini, Rotondo, & Mercurio, 2023). Other studies have shown that moments of silence can improve focus and attention, reduce stress and anxiety, support emotional regulation, foster empathy and connection, and strengthen memory and brain development (Bufalino, 2024, Kirste et al., 2015).

Practicing Silence 

In our Faith Formation classes at Calvary, we have a favorite activity called "Making a Silence." We invite children to be still and quiet using a chime to focus attention. This is never a forced silence. It’s a gift, an invitation. These moments are sacred pauses in our busy weeks, spaces where children (and adults) can encounter stillness and peace.

In addition to these ideas for quiet time at home,  Calvary has some uniquely beautiful spaces for quiet reflection and prayer. Here are a few ideas to try:

• Light a Candle in All Saints’ Chapel
  This small, sacred space offers a peaceful place to pray and light a candle in memory or hope.
• Visit the Lady Chapel
  The Lady Chapel is a wonderful spot to sit together quietly, look at the altar, and rest in the silence.
• Take a Silent Walk to Look at the Stained Glass Windows
  Walk slowly through the sanctuary, pausing to admire the vivid stained glass.
• Sit in the Swan Garden
  The Swan Garden offers a shady bench, soft sounds of birds and breeze, and sometimes even blooming flowers or vegetables planted by the children. It’s a great place to simply be.

Helping our children become comfortable with silence is more than a calming exercise. It encourages them to listen to God’s whisper in their hearts (just be sure to hide the Sharpies).

​“I think silence is one of the greatest gifts we have.”
~Fred Rogers

Sources

• Bufalino, G. (2024, September 23). Beyond words: The transformative IMPACT OF SILENCE. Development and Learning in Organizations: An International Journal. https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/dlo-07-2024-0184/full/html 
• “The Importance and the Nature of the Silence Game.” AMI Communications, 1976. Montessori Services
• Kerr, M. (2021). The Effects of Silence on Children's Emotion Regulation. Frontiers in Psychology.
• Kirste, I., Nicola, Z., Kronenberg, G., Walker, T. L., Liu, R. C., & Kempermann, G. (2015, March). Is silence golden? effects of auditory stimuli and their absence on adult hippocampal neurogenesis. Brain structure & function. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4087081/
• Kraus, N. et al. (2019). The Power of Sound and Silence in Brain Development. Nature Neuroscience.
• Montessori, M. (1972). The secret of childhood. Ballantine Books. 
• A television visit. Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. (2018, October 16). https://www.misterrogers.org/articles/a-television-visit/
• Pellegrini, M., Rotondo, C., & Mercurio, G. (2023). Silence and its effects on the autonomic nervous system: A systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 1130402. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1130402